Lol. Myself dude. Allowing myself to place the value of everyone else’s expectations above my own.
It’s all good lol. Sometimes it’s just nice to put things out there and move on x.
A slight rant because it’s 4:04am and my mind keeps on ticking even though my body is tired.
I get the feeling that a lot of people in my life look down upon the fact that I don’t have a job at the moment. I sense they feel that I’m somehow taking advantage of my husband who is handing me a “free ride”. I am immediately casted as the “unappreciative trophy husband who has life handed to him on a silver platter.”
I just want to get this off my chest:
Truth is, some people like to work. My husband is one of them. I would support him in no matter what career decision he chooses in life, like he supports mine. That’s what a good partner does. I am fortunate that he shares the same values as I do and reinforces my desire to find a balance of combining my creativity and materializing it in a society that undervalues it.
Although it may not be apparent to you now, I do have a work ethic. Working since I was 16, I have managed to put myself through college and pay off my entire student loan debt by the age of 24. I was a slave to a paycheck, but we all make sacrifices.
Recently, I was able to finance a move across the Atlantic Ocean to get married. After 7 years of long distance and transatlantic flights, I finally managed the move I’ve been longing for. The extensive and costly process of multiple visa applications (even one for my cat, Jasper) as well as transporting all my personal belongings from New York couldn’t stop me from reaching my goal.
I pride myself on these accomplishments not only because statistically I wasn’t supposed to be able to pay off my loans until my mid-30’s, but because I know how much hard work and determination it took to get to where I am today. Frankly, shit was rough but I persevered.
For the past 9 years, I placed a paycheck above my pride. I made sacrifices that compromised my happiness. I managed to suffer through worthless and soul crushing jobs for a long term goal that always seemed unobtainable. But against the odds, I’ve paid my dues (quite literally) and now have the option to do whatever makes me happy.
So my question is this: Why do people feel the need to take that all away from me? Suddenly, not having a conventional job undermines all of my previous accomplishments because I have nothing to physically show you?
The point of this rant is, everyone is entitled to a quality of life that they wish to have. If not having a job (even if temporary) is their choice, that’s their purgative. Don’t judge them. You don’t know where they have been or what they may be going through now. We all go through a lot. The least people can do is be happy when someone else is.
To anyone else who can relate to this, chin up. More importantly, don’t let the bastards get you down.